True luck and schmucks.

  • I am unhappy with how I perceive myself. I could give a rat’s fuck about whether people underestimate me, misunderstand me, or judge me no matter how disheartening it is. But how I perceive myself? Why have I been okay with being inadequate for so long? I hold myself back from being the person I want to be for others because I don’t love myself enough. I want to be able to unconditionally love myself as I would dream of unconditionally loving others. One day at a time, I’ll get there. Fuck you stoicism. 
  • Yale was a BLAST! I’ve dreamt of receiving the award I got for as long as I could remember, but as I stuttered during my thank you speech, I cried tears of joy when I realized the award had nothing to do with how happy I was. I finally became my own person. I am not just an MD candidate. This is not a linear goal. I want to believe in the impossible. I want work to overcome every obstacle in life. It was such a humbling feeling to stand in front of amazing people and tell them my story. It is nice to be surrounded by such a network of good people with magnificent minds. I am inspired to be a good person, always. 
  • Being drunk in love feels like a trip. I get skeptical because it feels so silly, impractical, and toxic to be so addicted to someone. But that’s the beauty of the relationship I have right now. I can literally take away all the chemicals that make up this “drunk in love” feeling, and whatever is in front of me, is enough, is good for me. I am so lucky to have someone with the same mentality, values love me back with a solid friendship to balance out the differences that we have. It is excellent. I am so happy. I am learning to love myself. 
  • I saw Swanky Tunes live last week at Sutra and it was MAD DOPE time! I am not a fan of sutra but we went on a limb to give it yet another try and see the artist even though we had no idea who they were. WORTH IT. Lesson: ALWAYS LOVE AGAIN. I woke up with blasting legs that felt more jelly-like than after I ran a mile. Talk about bouncing til you drop. I swear clubbing the way I do is a crazier work out than the gym. My calves are looking nice lol. 
  • Anyway, cheers to more self-improvement through self-reflection. I cannot wait to see what life has to offer. 

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*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*

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My Roommate Took Her Samoyed to a Color Run

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