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Bombs and Blackouts.

  • I’ve been saying “I’m fine”, “it’s okay” and “I understand” my entire life. Which, I thought was okay because it saves so much time and energy to not worry over things that can’t be helped. But… I’d go ahead and make bad decisions and subtly do destructive things so it’s like… Uh… But for the first time in my life, I confidently took a deep breath and accepted the fact that I am NOT okay. And there, the fog in my field of vision cleared up. SO. MUCH. CLARITY.
  • I have been whining nonstop about not being able to go to Vegas lately because of school and guilt of spending too much prodigal money (in lieu of paying off school loans or saving up for better vacations/adventures), but my prayers were over-answered. Perhaps a little too much… Because this Vegas trip will keep me from partying for a looooong time LOL. Most epic trip of my life but I am so done. 
  • I was having a blast but in the middle of a champagne shower at EBC, I stopped dancing, stopped inhaling what was probably my 15th Red Bull Vodka that weekend (that I’m allergic to, damn you Gluten-allergy), and felt really uncomfortable. When someone spends 3 grand on champagne showers, you really start to question your values or why you’re even here in the first place. It’s a lifestyle that contradicts what I believe in. I feel like everything I value has shifted tremendously. 
  • So where do I go from here? What do I believe in anymore? Do I still love the people in my life just as much? Less? More? Do the relationships that makes me so happy, still make me happy? Am I going to stay in medical school now? Where do I go.. 
Title: Help Me Lose My Mind (feat. London Grammar) Artist: Disclosure 3,703 plays

jsiapno:

Help Me Lose My Mind || Disclosure ft. London Grammar

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